Friday, September 17, 2004
Spongebob Squarepants Revisited
Daddy came home early from work yesterday. Daddy has been running a fever and sneezing a lot.
So, Little Bear woke up this morning with a genius five year old idea. He decided he was going to "get sick" so he could skip out of school today.
My, my...how fast these little people learn!
About the last thing our family needs this week is a little five year old elf deciding to begin a school career of sneezing delinquency.
So being the type of parents we are...we checked over Little Bear...nope, no fever, he's chugging down breakfast, color looks good...all systems go... nope, the kid is not sick.
And still Little Bear insists he is too sick to go to school...and now genius idea comes into play.
"I can't go to school, Mommy. I got the SUDS."
Yes, you heard it right. THE SUDS.
Now only a true SpongeBob Squarepants affecionado is going to get the gist of Little Bear's logic.
Last night's episode ... poor SpongeBob gets a cold, but he's a sponge...so he doesn't get a people cold. He sneezes out bubbles. His malady is called... the SUDS. If he holds in his sneezes really tight... he swells up...full of bubbles. (Remember: He is a sponge.)
So there we sit at the breakfast table, watching our five year old try to blow himself up full of bubbles while eating breakfast sausage...enough said. You do not need the elaborate details of witnessing that event.
As bus time draws near...the SUDS sneezing grows louder and our lame parental attempts to rationalize with a SUDsing five year old fail miserably.
Enter the FAIRLY ODDPARENTS (yep...another cartoon).
We had bought Little Bear a light up pen that looks like a fairy tale wand.
So I tell Little Bear that he needs the SUDS eraser to help him with those nasty little SUDS.
I pull out the pen, light it up and wave it over him while reciting this little ditty (born out of desperation and time constraints):
Inky Dinky Dinky Do
No more little SUDS for you
You feel good, you feel fine...
Now you are ready for bus time!
Believe it or not...this worked....phew.
He had some leftover SUDS sneezing which included getting them out of his system while brushing his teeth.
Splattered with toothpaste, I hastily ran him out the door and shoved the light up pen into his hand in case he needs more help with his SUDS.
And off he went to Kindergarten...with his SUDS sneezes and his light up pen...sure to wreak havoc if he sneaks that thing into class.
Boy..between the raisins and the sneezing SUDS light up pen flapping that will be walking into her classroom today....I bet his teacher is going to throw me in the corner when I show up for Open House next week.