One day the child became very ill and died. The woman could not believe that her child had died, so she carried the child in her arms asking people in the village if they had some medicine to give her in order to help her child.
Many people avoided her, but one took pity and advised her to talk to the wise teacher who lived in the center of the village.
She went to the wise teacher and asked him if he had medicine to help her child. The teacher felt compassion for the woman. He told her he did not have the medicine, but he could help her make the medicine if she collected the ingredients.
He placed a seed in her hand. This was the seed to the great trees of the surrounding forest. It was a very common seed and every villager kept these seeds in their home.
The wise teacher told her to go to every home in the village and ask for this seed. She was told to ask at each home if the family had ever experienced grief . The teacher told her that she could only accept a seed from a household that has never experienced grief.
The woman began her mission. At the first household she learned that her elderly neighbor had grieved over the death of her husband. In the next household she learned about the loss of a son in war. In the next home she learned how the young family had lost all of their worldly possessions in a storm and had to relocate and start life again. And in the next home she discovered a woman who had just been diagnosed with a terminal illness. Each home invited her in and shared their stories.
She returned to the teacher and placed her child in his arms. She was ready. The funeral began and she grieved.
She could not avoid the grief. She felt like she was in the dense forest. She could not walk around it. She could not crawl under it, she could not fly over it. She just had to walk through it.
She found her strength in knowing that she was not alone.
When the grieving lessened, she felt ready to let go.
She still had her seed. She found a beautiful cove near the edge of the forest. She planted the seed to honor the memory of her child.
She nurtured the seedling, she tended the new tree, and made sure the roots would grow deep and strong.
Then she went moved forward. Once again she found joy in her life. She had become one with her neighbors and shared in their joys and their sorrows. Her life was full.
Where are you in your grief work?
Being diagnosed with a life altering disease is a journey through grief. Unfortunately, there is no funeral to say good-bye to your old life. There is no ritual to acknowledge your loss. Those closest to you may be grieving too, and are not even aware of this.
Maybe you are still in the beginning of your grief journey, carrying the child in your arms waiting for the child to revive?
Maybe you just want to hole up deep inside of yourself and never come out. How many times have you thought how unfair it is that the world keeps moving forward while your life is frozen in place pinned down by an invisible enemy who won't let you go?
You can not avoid grief. You have only one choice, and that is to walk on through it.
You do not have to walk through this journey alone, nor should you.
Surround yourself with people who nurture you, who are good soil as you germinate into the next part of your life.
Do not hesitate to talk to doctors, counselors, and support groups that will help you.
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REFERENCES:
Buddha Parable
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